No, we just have a chance to spend however much time in the bath while nobody is hammering the door shouting “How fucking long are you going to stay there?! You’re not alone, you know!!!”
Lonely is not the same as alone though. It’s people who live with others but still take very long baths that we need to worry about.
All good just had a wank
Ok, Lester Burnham.
And you reply “not alone? not yet” and shotgun-blast the door to stop the annoyance. Ask them on the way out how long they’ll be bleeding out, as they “are messing up the floor, you know”.
I’m more of an actions-over-words kinda guy. A real people-pleaser.
I’m sitting on the floor of the tub right now, letting the shower water just hit me until the hot runs out. It’s my daily therapy ritual of disassociation and white noise.
It’s true. I take cold showers now because when I wake up under the covers next to another human body I’m fucking boiling!
I do it in the hopes the hot steamy water will cause me to lose consciousness and after collapsing my head will be propped - mouth agape - in a way that I’ll drown without having to worry about the actual scary drowning part. 👏
And yea, it does feel good too. 🥺
na i am just a hidden reptiloid trying to stay warm ok
Mmm, I take long showers because it feels nice! Loneliness is a feeling that I’ve carefully excised out of my mind, so that social isolation (due to bullying) wouldn’t crush my soul. Being alone has become comfortable and soothing, however, I still have people I can talk to.
Very much on your wavelength re the enjoyment of warm water! Can share the experience of bullying too, being alone is not loneliness and can be very relaxing, free from any pressure. Glad you have people in your life as well.
Indeed, being alone doesn’t always equal loneliness…It’s when you crave or desire human connection but encounter a barrier (mental, physical, or emotional) that is what creates the feeling of loneliness! It’s the feeling of pressure from being around people, it’s like being around other people exerts an unseen weight or pressure. This could be a thing linked to anxiety and hyperawareness, but that is why I tend to stay alone a lot. I do agree it’s nice to have people in my life, I really suck with actually keeping in contact. A part of me feels bad, but I do warn them that I love my solitude. It might stretch for months at a time, nothing but going to work and enjoying hobbies (also running vital errands and appointments as needed).
Bullying sucks, full stop. It can either break you or build some form of internal defense, in the aftermath a strength and brittleness were formed. Sometimes, I wonder what life would’ve been like had I not been bullied and found my defense in emptiness and detachment; I just rediscovered my humanity a few years ago.
I feel attacked.
