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The Picard Maneuver to Funny@sh.itjust.works • 2 months ago

When you marry someone who thinks ahead

lemmy.world

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When you marry someone who thinks ahead

lemmy.world

The Picard Maneuver to Funny@sh.itjust.works • 2 months ago
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  • @Panamalt@sh.itjust.works
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    149•2 months ago

    Going by the spillage, that stuff is already fuckin rancid as hell

    • skribe
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      36•2 months ago

      Nah, it’s just crunchy.

      • @sp3ctr4l@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        11•2 months ago

        crunchy and ‘spicey’

        • @barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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          2•1 month ago

          Tart

      • Smee
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        6•2 months ago

        Crusty

  • @WhiteOakBayou@lemmy.world
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    69•2 months ago

    I think I’m overpaying for peanut butter

    • ☂️-
      cake
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      1 month ago

      deleted by creator

  • @Etterra@discuss.online
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    68•2 months ago

    So you’re going to die this year? Because peanut butter has a way shorter expiration date than he seems you think. Though if you eat that much peanut butter in a year, so do y’all.

    • @klao@sh.itjust.works
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      60•2 months ago

      • @mmddmm@lemm.ee
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        16•2 months ago

        That hing on their hands… It doesn’t look like a spoon.

        • M137
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          11•2 months ago

          that word in your comment, doesn’t look like a thing.

          • @samus12345@lemm.ee
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            8•2 months ago

            “Thank you, Hing!”

    • Smee
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      3•2 months ago

      Would old peanut butter kill ya? Perhaps that’s what they mean by “a lifetime supply”?

      • @Dragonstaff@leminal.space
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        2•1 month ago

        If your taste buds are working, it’d be pretty difficult to eat enough rancid oil to kill yourself.

        • Smee
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          1•1 month ago

          deleted by creator

      • @Etterra@discuss.online
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        1•1 month ago

        Besides anything killing you insufficient quantities, or if you end up being trapped ankle deep but head first in of that barrel, probably. It’s been open so there’s a good chance that something got in there. Botulism will kill you really good.

  • @Tudsamfa@lemmy.world
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    38•2 months ago

    I have to imagine this peanut butter was intended to feed animals, probably for hunting.

    So it isn’t even particularly sweet and processed at a lower standard than the stuff the husband was used to. But what do I know, maybe he always intended to bait hogs with it.

    • Liz
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      13•2 months ago

      Added sugar to peanut butter is an affront to the mighty peanut. Just grind that shit pure and smack it in your mouth like nature intended.

      • @ObtuseDoorFrame@lemm.ee
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        5•2 months ago

        Damn straight. Peanut butter is the best tasting food in existence and adding sugar to it is wildly insulting.

    • @MimicJar@lemmy.world
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      12•2 months ago

      probably for hunting.

      Who needs a machine gun? For hunting.

      Who needs $600 worth of peanut butter? For hunting.

      Take my peanut butter away?

      From my warm sticky hands!

      • Smee
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        4•2 months ago

        Am I weird for wanting a machinegun that shoots hogs at peanut butter?

    • 1ostA5tro6yne
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      7•2 months ago

      it’s on /r/AmIOverreacting, i think it’s safe to assume the story is false

  • @chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Peanut butter may last 6–24 months unopened, or 2–3 months once opened. Natural peanut butters lack preservatives and may last several months unopened, or up to a month once opened.

    Even if you have unlimited temperature controlled bugproof storage space this is a terrible idea

    • @pappabosley@lemm.ee
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      7•2 months ago

      It’s only a 2 month supply

    • Ziglin (it/they)
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      1•1 month ago

      I don’t know what you think is going to make it spoil at 0-30K. (Maybe the freezing could destroy some organic compounds) A few hours in the oven and it should be fine.

      • @chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        2•1 month ago

        By temperature controlled I was thinking like, a root cellar, not negative 400 degrees

        • Ziglin (it/they)
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          2•1 month ago

          I was indeed aware. (Also how dare you use Farenheit in my presence!)

  • magnetosphere
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    30•2 months ago

    My answer depends heavily on whether it’s chunky or creamy

    • @sbv@sh.itjust.works
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      13•2 months ago

      finally, someone asking the right questions

  • @psmgx@lemmy.world
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    28•2 months ago

    Probably 2/3 of the way to racid already, smh

    • @dependencyinjection@discuss.tchncs.de
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      9•2 months ago

      Racid? Do you mean rancid?

      • thermal_shock
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        7•2 months ago

        He meant racist.

  • Eyedust
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    21•2 months ago

    This is probably like… number one on the “my partner might be a doomsday prepper” checklist.

  • @ChanchoManco@lemm.ee
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    18•2 months ago

    That’s not nearly enough for a lifetime

    • Smee
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      11•2 months ago

      A single jar is more than enough for a lifetime.

      • Ephera
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        12•2 months ago

        Especially, if you’re allergic.

    • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮
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      5•2 months ago

      If you ate all of it at once it would definitely last a lifetime. Especially if you have a peanut allergy!

  • Lovable Sidekick
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    13•2 months ago

    Then you find out rancid PBJs are 50% off this week.

  • @hOrni@lemmy.world
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    13•2 months ago

    Like that guy who bought 40 pounds of parmesan for 10 bucks.

    • bizarroland
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      5•2 months ago

      Can you imagine how buff the Olive Garden server’s arms would get?

  • @xor@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    12•
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    18 days ago

    deleted by creator

    • The Picard ManeuverOP
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      15•2 months ago

  • @spooky2092@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    12•2 months ago

    That gonna go rancid before the first barrel is emptied.

  • Rodneyck
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    11•2 months ago

    Is this some ‘The Price Is Right’ reveal? As a prepper, I bid $10,001!

  • @barneypiccolo@lemm.ee
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    6•1 month ago

    “What’s for dinner?”

    “Peanut Butter.”

    “Of course.”

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