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@ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 7 months ago

Luigi Mangione Sentenced to 25 Years of United Healthcare Coverage

hard-drive.net

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Luigi Mangione Sentenced to 25 Years of United Healthcare Coverage

hard-drive.net

@ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 7 months ago
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MINNETONKA, Minn — Luigi Mangione, the alleged shooter of former UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson, has been sentenced to 25 years of coverage by United Healthcare.…
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  • @aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    175•7 months ago

    Now this is an Onion headline.

    • @ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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      97•
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      7 months ago

      Right? Solid satire, but just to give credit where it’s due, this is from hard-drive.net which is a gaming/tech focused spin-off of a music satire site called The Hard Times. They consistently crack me up so just wanted to take the opportunity to credit them.

      • @aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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        32•7 months ago

        Point taken. I meant Onion in the same way you say Kleenex instead of tissue. It’s now a general term for any satirical news article.

        • @ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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          8•7 months ago

          Oh no worries, I totally get it! I was just linking for the sake of anyone reading the comments because those are both quality sites that are worth reading. I’ve found the name of this community can be kind of misleading, so it’s not uncommon for people to be unaware of how many quality satire sites are out there besides The Onion.

  • @samus12345@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    if Mr. Mangione had spent more time pulling on his bootstraps and less time feeling sorry for himself and obsessing over his debilitating chronic back pain that UnitedHealthcare refused to cover treatment of – for I’m sure for very good reasons – he might have one day helmed a parasitic corporation of his own. Sadly, he chose another path.”

    Love the satire, but one important point: Luigi didn’t have UHC insurance. So if he did do this, it wasn’t even because of a personal grudge - it was to strike back at a system in general that fucked him over.

    • @Monument@lemmy.sdf.org
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      25•7 months ago

      Huh. I haven’t seen that factoid before.

      It distances the motive from personal vendetta. It provides support to the narrative that he did this for principles, and not revenge.

      • @samus12345@lemm.ee
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        32•7 months ago

        Looked it up to double check, as it’s what I remembered reading.

        The New York Police Department told CBS News that there are no indications that Mangione was a UnitedHealthcare customer.

        Officials believe Mangione may have targeted the company because of its status as the largest health insurer in the United States.

        • @AgentDalePoopster@lemmy.world
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          7 months ago

          deleted by creator

          • @samus12345@lemm.ee
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            9•7 months ago

            They were absolutely the best choice to target, the worst of the worst.

          • Drusas
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            2•7 months ago

            All.

      • @halfatank@lemmy.world
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        1•7 months ago

        deleted by creator

  • @Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee
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    69•7 months ago

    Ugh… I don’t think he deserves the death penalty

    • @stinky@redlemmy.com
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      2•7 months ago

      Deserve, by what standard? Moral, religious, legal? How do we measure deserve

      • @Wes4Humanity@lemm.ee
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        7•7 months ago

        Oh… It was a joke… Because having united health care as your insurance is basically a death sentence

  • @radiohead37@lemmynsfw.com
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    63•7 months ago

    Cruel and unusual punishment.

  • @SupraMario@lemmy.world
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    7 months ago

    how long has trump being prosecuted? Years and years and years…Luigi should run for president, effective immediately so they have to delay the verdicts…

    • @inv3r5ion@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      4•7 months ago

  • Queen HawlSera
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    43•7 months ago

    I love how it’s an open secret that basically everyone fucking loves Luigi Mangione and we don’t even know if he did it.

    • @WhatYouNeed@lemmy.world
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      8•7 months ago

      Did what?

      • @InternetCitizen2@lemmy.world
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        22•7 months ago

        Order a mcrib

        • Queen HawlSera
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          7•7 months ago

          Indeed, he could have just gotten a small fries.

  • @Pringles@lemm.ee
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    7 months ago

    There are plenty of toll evaders, homeless, minorities, and otherwise lesser people whose lives you could have taken, and were that the case I would not feel so inclined to mete out such a harsh sentence but in this instance you leave me no choice but to impose the harshest ruling possible.

    Never change, The Onion, never change!

    Edit: alright, I assumed it was the Onion based on the community. But sure, it was some other site.

    • @apocalypticat@lemmy.world
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      11•7 months ago

      You mean hard-drive?

    • Orbituary
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      6•
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      7 months ago

      Reading is hard.

      • @Amanduh@lemm.ee
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        9•7 months ago

        It’s a sub called the onion brother, people assuming the articles posted being from the onion is the default

        • @Voyajer@lemmy.world
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          6•7 months ago

          Half of the posts aren’t even from the onion here

          • @Amanduh@lemm.ee
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            5•7 months ago

            But the community name sure is the onion right? So if someone comes in here and assumes the article is from the onion then that’s a pretty reasonable assumption right?

            • @Voyajer@lemmy.world
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              1•7 months ago

              I thought so too but then I counted. Apparently there are a lot more satire sites that are gaining popularity.

      • Flax
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        4•7 months ago

        Hard drive

    • Aatube
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      5•7 months ago

      hard drive 😔

      • @Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
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        1•7 months ago

        Bold of you to assume my drive gets hard…

  • @henfredemars@infosec.pub
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    31•7 months ago

    Glorious.

  • Rhaedas
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    10•7 months ago

    That’s Vader-level “I have altered the deal. Pray I do not alter it further.”

  • @psycho_driver@lemmy.world
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    9•7 months ago

    A fate almost worse than death.

  • @johannesvanderwhales@lemmy.world
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    8•7 months ago

    Meh, letting him off too easily. There’s no way he survives 25 years under those conditions.

  • @iAvicenna@lemmy.world
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    4•7 months ago

    hahaha spot on

  • @LadyAutumn@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    7 months ago

    deleted by creator

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