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The Picard Maneuver to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 1 year ago

12-Year-Old Spends Entire Hiking Trip Fantasizing About Which Video Game He’ll Play When He Gets Home

www.theonion.com

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12-Year-Old Spends Entire Hiking Trip Fantasizing About Which Video Game He’ll Play When He Gets Home

www.theonion.com

The Picard Maneuver to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 1 year ago
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CHATHAM, NH—During a long-planned excursion with his family through the White Mountain National Forest, 12-year-old Austin Tanden is said to have spent an entire hiking trip Tuesday fantasizing about exactly which video games he would play when he got home. “First, I’m going to boot up Fortnite and see if any of my…
  • @DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    11•1 year ago

    Fuck, I’m a 12yo stuck in an old man dad bod.

    • Captain Aggravated
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      2•1 year ago

      I’m pretty sure I’m a 17 year old stuck in an old man dad bod, and it’s fucking amazing. People sell me booze and power tools without question.

      • @DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        1•1 year ago

        Don’t forget spray paint and lighters!

        • Captain Aggravated
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          2•1 year ago

          I can just…rent a bulldozer. Whenever I want. And no one will even try to stop me. Not until it’s too late, at least.

          • @DAMunzy@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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            1•1 year ago

            Very Killdozer vibes. Pop off, King! (or Queen- I don’t know you especially when the FBI comes around asking questions 😉)

            • It's A Faaaahhkeah!
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              2•1 year ago

              I just hope they work on a way of getting it unstuck from buildings, nothing could stop you then.

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