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no banana to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 18 days ago

Avocado

lemmy.world

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Avocado

lemmy.world

no banana to Lemmy Shitpost@lemmy.world • 18 days ago
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  • @moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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    142•18 days ago

    Does this mean I have never tasted a clean penis?

    • no bananaOP
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      208•18 days ago

      I wouldn’t know, I’ve never tasted an avocado

      • @RedditAdminsSuckIt@lemmy.world
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        97•18 days ago

  • @enbiousenvy@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    114•18 days ago

    that looks like the ancient mouse that uses ball for cursor movement.

    • no bananaOP
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      74•18 days ago

      Cursed ball mouse that tastes like clean penis

      • @ch00f@lemmy.world
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        15•18 days ago

        cleanpenis.fart

    • @AtariDump@lemmy.world
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      47•18 days ago

    • Tailz (she/her)
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      13•18 days ago

      That’s the first thing that came to mind when I saw this. Those mice were a pain. I had to take the ball out from the socket and get rid of dust and debris so many times so it would work normally

      • @nomy@lemmy.zip
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        8•18 days ago

        It was so disgusting digging all the gunk out with a toothpick, cotton swabs, and alcohol.

        Optical mice were such a huge improvement everyone I knew (except the weird trackball guy) switched as soon as they became available and never looked back.

        • @SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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          6•18 days ago

          The first optical mice absolutely sucked compared to trackballs.

          Fortunately, that period did not last long.

          • ddh
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            13 days ago

            First optical mouse I used was interning at a university engineering department in 1993. It had a special metal mousepad with a grid on it, and it worked pretty well as I recall.

            TIL it was a Kirsch design, one of the first, from 1980.

            https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Optical_mouse#/media/File:Old_optical_mouse.jpeg

            • @SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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              1•13 days ago

              Nice. I was referring to the consumer-level products that didn’t require a special pad, though.

    • @SpaceNoodle@lemmy.world
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      10•18 days ago

      It’s vintage, thank you

    • @FooBarrington@lemmy.world
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      6•18 days ago

      They first tried using avocado pits, but those are a little too uneven, so they went with cooked egg yolks instead.

  • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮
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    101•
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    18 days ago

    Um excuse me?

    I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

    I’d eat more avocado if that was true.

    • @ILikeBoobies@lemmy.ca
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      45•18 days ago

      We’re trying to promote hygiene here

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 🇮
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        31•18 days ago

        Well they don’t taste like dirty penis either.

        • @A_Random_Idiot@lemmy.world
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          17•18 days ago

          not as chewy, either.

          • Kalcifer
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            7•17 days ago

            what a day to have eyes

        • @MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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          1•17 days ago

          This is gold. Thank you.

    • @Etterra@discuss.online
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      23•18 days ago

      It’s probably just a joke to piss off conservatives. If correct, it works be a worthy cause.

      • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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        13•18 days ago

        Is conservatives into avocado? I was led to believe woke millennials who suffer from bad financial decisions eat avocado toast.

        • @Etterra@discuss.online
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          1•15 days ago

          They need them for guacamole. Can’t have game night without snacks, after all.

      • @SkunkWorkz@lemmy.world
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        3•17 days ago

        Did you know light beer tastes like cum?

        • @Allemaniac@lemmy.world
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          4•17 days ago

          maybe it’s because american light beer is just really close to fucking water.

        • moving to lemme.zip.
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          2•17 days ago

          Can confirm. Cum tastes exactly like Michelob Ultra.

          • @acockworkorange@mander.xyz
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            1•16 days ago

            Ew. No wonder my wife wants nothing to do with it.

        • @Etterra@discuss.online
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          1•15 days ago

          It smells like piss so I don’t imagine you’re right.

    • Lka1988
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      17 days ago

      I eat avocado and clean penis all the time and have never found them to be anywhere remotely close to the same flavor.

      I showed this meme to my wife, she agrees with you

      • @Knock_Knock_Lemmy_In@lemmy.world
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        2•17 days ago

        Her boyfriend’s penis must be clean.

        • Lka1988
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          4•17 days ago

          Last I checked mine was cleaner, and I won the swordfight

    • @Beero@lemmy.world
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      17 days ago

      Have you ever microwaved a brick of Brie for crackers…smells…pungent. Reminiscent of post-coitus, LoL, great for date night

  • db0
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    97•18 days ago

    I just asked my wife and she made the face. This is apparently, correct 😂😬😂

    • Log in | Sign up
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      21•18 days ago

      Thank you for answering the big questions for us all.

    • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      12•18 days ago

      Don’t trust her.

      Only one way to know the truth.

      🍆

    • @Delphia@lemmy.world
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      5•17 days ago

      I asked my wife if she wanted breakfast in bed… she did not like what was in her toast.

  • @LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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    72•18 days ago

    Some people here have never sucked a dick and it shows

    • flandish
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      42•18 days ago

      some of us were just too young to remember the taste. thankfully

      • @General_Effort@lemmy.world
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        15•18 days ago

        Oof.

      • SatansMaggotyCumFart
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        4•17 days ago

        Altar boy?

        • flandish
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          2•17 days ago

          what? no. just my best friend’s older brother who happened to be a sexual predator.

      • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        2•17 days ago

        I’m sorry to hear that. I hope it’s beautiful and sunny wherever you are and that you’re doing well.

    • @last_philosopher@lemmy.world
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      4•18 days ago

      I’d imagine lemmy has among the lowest has-sucked-dick ratios of any potentially mixed-gender community.

      • @Valmond@lemmy.world
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        8•17 days ago

        Why? We’re a bunch of old wannabe rebels (among other) eager to try out new stuff, surely sucking a dick was something easy to try out in our youth, and then lots of us are trans, gay, transbians and so on.

        • @SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4•17 days ago

          ☺️ 🏳️‍🌈👋 Happy pride!

      • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        1•17 days ago

        Never been more disappointed in us. 😞

    • Carl
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      4•18 days ago

      Your the expert, tell us.

      • @Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world
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        19•18 days ago
        • you + are = you’re
        • @SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4•17 days ago

          No.

          My the expert.

        • Carl
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          3•17 days ago

          I guess you’re* the expert.

  • @inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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    69•18 days ago

    mmm cockamole

    • @Dozzi92@lemmy.world
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      23•18 days ago

      Goes great on your faceadilla.

      • @inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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        7•18 days ago

        With crema

    • @Phil_in_here@lemmy.ca
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      9•18 days ago

      I think you should consult a dermatologist.

    • @Etterra@discuss.online
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      9•18 days ago

      I hate you, take my up vote.

    • @ChillCapybara@discuss.tchncs.de
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      9•18 days ago

      Well done. And welcome to Lemmy.

      • @inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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        3•18 days ago

        Thank you

    • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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      5•17 days ago

      You are an asset to the team. Welcome.

  • @MNByChoice@midwest.social
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    58•18 days ago

    “Clean penis”? Only after washing with avocado scented body wash.

    • dream_weasel
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      28•18 days ago

      The only way to properly clean a penis is with guacamole and some elbow grease.

      • @bstix@feddit.dk
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        5•18 days ago

        Also, WD-40 is not a lubricant.

        • @FourWaveforms@lemm.ee
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          3•18 days ago

          wdym

          • dream_weasel
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            7•18 days ago

            Strictly speaking, WD-40 is for water displacement. It is also not patented because they don’t want to give away the recipe.

            Though, I think the other guy might have meant “lubricant” in the context of sex.

  • @hefejefe@lemm.ee
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    39•18 days ago

    How do I unsee an image

    • DUMBASS
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      68•18 days ago

      • @ummthatguy@lemmy.world
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        33•18 days ago

        The “Phineas Gage Special” is not 100% effective.

    • @proti@lemmy.world
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      30•18 days ago

      this but in reverse
      brain no mor

      • @gravitas_deficiency@sh.itjust.works
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        23•18 days ago

        Goodness me that is unsettling

        • FippleStone
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          15•18 days ago

          Anime ain’t right

      • @Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
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        2•18 days ago

        What’s the name of the show? Looks familiar

        • @proti@lemmy.world
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          5•18 days ago

          It’s Kiss-Shot Acerola-Orion Heart-Under-Blade from Kizumonogatari, but you probably know her by the name Shinobu

          • @Naughty_not_bad@lemmynsfw.com
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            2•17 days ago

            Thank you!

    • @FelixCress@lemmy.world
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      5•18 days ago

      Why do you want to unsee it, don’t you like avocados?

    • no bananaOP
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      5•18 days ago

      Some sort of eye surgery

      • @neons@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        7•18 days ago

        That doesn’t help, it’s already in memory.

        Obviously the answer is suicide.

        • no bananaOP
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          13•18 days ago

          Some sort of existence surgery

  • @ILikeTraaaains@lemmy.world
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    18 days ago

    Tasted both, I don’t like avocado, dicks on the other hand….

    • @MacStache@sopuli.xyz
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      17•18 days ago

      So… Avocado in one and a dick in the other…?

    • @Deathray5@lemmynsfw.com
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      8•18 days ago

      Few, I don’t like avocados and was worried

    • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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      7•18 days ago

      So avocado doesn’t taste like clean dingaling?

      Please answer Im about to get some guacamole and I’m insecure in my sexuality.

      • I Cast Fist
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        12•18 days ago

        Just say “no homo” and you’re good. Avoid the nut, because that’s super gay bro

        • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
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          17 days ago

          Thank you so much. I shouted no homo as I added quac to my long veiny burrito, and two-handed it into my mouth. I think I’m okay now.

  • @Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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    32•18 days ago

    Does a clean penis taste different than clean skin??

    • @TrueStoryBob@lemmy.world
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      94•18 days ago

      Skin on different parts of the body tastes different. It also depends on how it’s cooked.

      • @Alaik@lemmy.zip
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        29•18 days ago

        God damn dude.

      • @0ops@lemm.ee
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        23•18 days ago

        *closes legs

      • @inthearizonasun@lemm.ee
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        12•18 days ago

        damn

      • @Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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        8•18 days ago

        I think I’d prefer reverse seared penis but idk

        • @SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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          4•17 days ago

          Like a pp corndog

      • @prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        4•17 days ago

        Fucking hell

      • @Not_Dav3@lemmy.world
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        3•17 days ago

    • @LanguageIsCool@lemmy.world
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      20•18 days ago

      Why ask when you can find out?

      • @Dorkyd68@lemmy.world
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        7•18 days ago

        I mean if your willing to donate your penis to me in the name of science then im game 😉😘

  • Pasta Dental
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    27•18 days ago

    that’s untrue

    • no bananaOP
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      33•18 days ago

      Sure, but it wouldn’t be as funny if it said “doesn’t taste like clean penis”

      • @Sonor@lemmy.world
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        44•18 days ago

        “Scientists discover avocado does not in fact taste like clean penis”

        It would get a few clicks i reckon

        • @Lycist@lemmy.world
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          6•18 days ago

          Only if extensive testing material was available to view.

          • @Sonor@lemmy.world
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            6•18 days ago

            For that we will need volunteers and taste tasters as well

            • @Feathercrown@lemmy.world
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              2•18 days ago

              What about the durability test

        • no bananaOP
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          4•18 days ago

          Sure, but would it be as funny?

  • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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    22•17 days ago

    I’ve sampled enough to say confidently that this is false.

    • @Bonskreeskreeskree@lemmy.world
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      12•17 days ago

      Clean penises or avocado?

      • @grrgyle@slrpnk.net
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        20•17 days ago

        Inclusive yes.

        • @MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca
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          7•17 days ago

          Fair enough. This one is debunked.

          Let’s move along people, nothing to see here.

  • @gmtom@lemmy.world
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    21•18 days ago

    I mean, sure in the sense they dint really taste like much.

  • Fargeol
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    19•18 days ago

    Please don’t do a blinded experiment

    • @FelixCress@lemmy.world
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      27•18 days ago

      Please DO one. Taste only, no biting.

      • @moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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        6•18 days ago

        I’d volunteer for that

        • Eager Eagle
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          1•18 days ago

          as a sommelier or as an avocado?

          • @moonlight6205@lemm.ee
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            1•17 days ago

            Both

    • @R3D4CT3D@midwest.social
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      14•
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      8 days ago

      deleted by creator

      • @tourist@lemmy.world
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        16•18 days ago

        I imagine that’s not the best place to find a sample of clean penises

      • @Outsider9042@lemmynsfw.com
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        2•17 days ago

        Just don’t forget to bring your nachos

  • @Blackmist@feddit.uk
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    17•18 days ago

    Hey, who’s been using my avocado scented soap?

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