• @finitebanjo@lemmy.world
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    591 month ago

    Gosh, only thing I can think of is self-repairing telomeres.

    Everything else is perfect, might as well live for hundreds of years.

    • @Kecessa@sh.itjust.works
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      1 month ago

      It’s funny, there’s a local TV program where people can anonymously ask adults and kids with various handicaps questions they wouldn’t dare ask them directly and “would you rather not have it” is always one of them. The adults always dodge the question by saying that it’s not as bad as it seems and so on and then the kids always reply like you did “I would much rather not have any issues!”

    • @Droggelbecher@lemmy.world
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      161 month ago

      I’d upgrade the depression away from my brain and give myself the ability for hyperfocus at will and to turn off sensory issues. Taking the autism and ADHD away altogether would leave me a different human, idk that almost feels like dying a little bit, or being lobotomized. Wouldn’t want to lose a part of my brain that makes me me. But super valid to want to be neurotypical!

      Thinking about it, if it counts as an organ, idk if I wouldn’t rather change my immune system to stop attacking healthy tissue and get better at attacking viruses instead. Tough choice.

      • snooggums
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        71 month ago

        When a monkey’s paw’s last wish is spent, you have a monkey’s fist.

    • @ulterno@programming.dev
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      11 month ago

      Considering what it means to be “normal” around me, I’d rather be divergent.
      But then again, I manage to focus well enough.

  • @Tattorack@lemmy.world
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    1 month ago

    Having a bigger dick is overrated. Great for fantasy, but very impractical.

    I’d upgrade my lungs to be better filters and oxygenate my blood. My immune system to fight diseases my efficiently (turn it into a scalpel rather than a cluster-nuke). My brain to retain it’s learning capabilities well into my later years. Completely overhaul my metabolism so that I won’t have to do heavy exercise to get good muscles (really, all that exercise just exists to make one chemical reaction happen).

    After that, then, only then, might I consider doing something with my dick. Though perhaps more with my balls, so I can just switch off the reproductive capabilities to ensure safe sex.

        • @shneancy@lemmy.world
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          111 month ago

          being smart is overrated, and it actively makes anxiety worse because you can come up with pretty good rationalisations and then be anxious faster

          • @AngrySquirrel@lemm.ee
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            1 month ago

            I mean, he didn’t say smarter; he said a better brain. I would also love a better brain, which to me would not mean an increase in intelligence. On paper, I’m allegedly well into the gifted territory of the IQ scale, but my developmental and learning disabilities, especially my poor executive functioning, have led to me working fast food…

            • @shneancy@lemmy.world
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              81 month ago

              ayyy twice exceptional high five, how are the unfinished projects going? it’s a strange life to be both allegedly gifted and also have a learning disability, your whole life you get told how much potential you have, but you can only reliably pull off being kinda average

              but i digress, yeah that’s a fair point. i guess i assumed when they said “better brain” they meant “better brain power”. i too would like a brain that can perhaps manage to do things when i want it to do things, instead of only doing things when they become emergencies

                • @shneancy@lemmy.world
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                  31 month ago

                  huh, that is- strange, it sounds almost as if knowing “from the start” about being twice exceptional fucked you up more than being oblivious. very few know about my IQ, and i only got tested at 18, same with adhd where i had my first suspicions at university and started trying to get diagnosed after it. what you’re describing sounds like a deeply confusing child/teenagehood. it sounds like you were kind of taught to feel helpless and doubt yourself

                  and oh man, i hope that the spark to do silly projects captures you again soon :( they’re so fun, best of luck <3

  • @Canonical_Warlock@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    341 month ago

    Definitely my spine. There’s a reason basically anyone who has worked in the trades for a while has a fucked up back. It would be nice to avoid my impending back problems.

  • @Rolder@reddthat.com
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    261 month ago

    Can I just say “my immune system”? That’d prevent all kinds of diseases and make you cancer proof!

  • Aeri
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    241 month ago

    Heart failure is one of the biggest killers out there. I think you’d have a better odds of living a long life with some kind of super heart. Your heart is basically just a water pump that has to remain online for 100 years or you die fast.

    • volvoxvsmarla
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      71 month ago

      That’s a good point, but in my opinion the other common deaths are way worse. Cancer? Living with the anxiety of impending death and constantly getting sicker, more in pain and being nauseous from medication? Or COPD, feeling like you are suffocating slowly? Alzheimers, Parkinsons? Or my personal fear - dying from a stupid simple cold? Man, I take a heart attack any day of the week.

      • Aeri
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        31 month ago

        Yeah, I’m just thinking about the meta pick for general longevity.

      • @turtlesareneat@discuss.online
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        31 month ago

        I have a friend who’s losing the battle with cancer right now and I didn’t really appreciate how bad it would be. Both the cancer itself, and having this much forewarning. I would rather it be quick and surprise. For my sake lol screw everyone else

    • mechoman444
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      141 month ago

      Or! OR! Downgrade your brain so you’re just dumb enough to feel constant happiness.

    • @moseschrute@lemmy.ml
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      41 month ago

      Does happiness increase or decrease with intelligence? What if your brain upgrade becomes an emotional downgrade?

        • @moseschrute@lemmy.ml
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          41 month ago

          Looked it up. Seems there happiness does not decrease with intelligence. I would have assumed the more intelligence you have the more capacity to understand and worry about problems you would have.

          • @trxxruraxvr@lemmy.world
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            1 month ago

            Yea, but happiness is a weird thing. After live changing events, both positive and negative happiness is impacted for a while, but after a couple of months most people gravitate back to their default happiness level.

    • @apex32@lemmy.world
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      121 month ago

      Isn’t that backwards? The liver filters alcohol out of the body. I would think an upgraded liver would sober you up quicker.

        • @MDCCCLV@lemmy.ca
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          31 month ago

          Either way you would run into the problem of having a huge amount of your calories come from alcohol, without any nutrients. Unless you’re just drinking beer, which is just liquid bread.

      • @frog_brawler@lemmy.world
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        1 month ago

        Rethinking this… no. I’m UPGRADING the liver to keep me drunk for 3 years and 9 months to not be sober. The upgrade is drunk and not dying, and another part of the upgrade is filtering out all the additional calories.

    • @smeenz@lemmy.nz
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      1 month ago

      Wouldn’t being able to enter a coma on demand be more useful ? Wake up in 4 years…