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@GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish • 1 year ago

What's your clickbait headline that describes your life right now?

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What's your clickbait headline that describes your life right now?

@GoofSchmoofer@lemmy.world to Ask Lemmy@lemmy.worldEnglish • 1 year ago
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  • 👍Maximum Derek👍
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    88•1 year ago

    How long can one person avoid yard work? The answer will shock you.

    • @scytale@lemm.ee
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      15•
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      1 month ago

      deleted by creator

  • Boozilla
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    60•1 year ago

    “Clueless old man tries the cloud.”

  • @KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world
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    45•1 year ago

    He’s unemployed, autistic, spends his free time configuring Linux distros, doomscrolling and falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. You won’t believe how he met his wife!

    • @Artyom@lemm.ee
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      7•1 year ago

      Wait, but how did you meet your wife though?

      I too choose this guy’s wife.

      • @KISSmyOSFeddit@lemmy.world
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        10•1 year ago

        I asked for her number in a night club, she was the bartender.

    • @NeoNachtwaechter@lemmy.world
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      4•1 year ago

      3 long lines of ‘headline’ won’t get you any clicks (and no wife)

  • Toes♀
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    38•1 year ago

    101 mistakes to avoid if you wanna reach 30

    • @baldingpudenda@lemmy.world
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      16•1 year ago

      me, reading: oh no… oh no!

  • @NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world
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    38•1 year ago

    “Which programming language will kill you the fastest? One man searches for the answer.”

    • @Crackhappy@lemmy.world
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      17•1 year ago

      Assembly.

      • @NegativeLookBehind@lemmy.world
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        2•1 year ago

        Might I refer you to Brainfuck, or perhaps Whitespace?

    • @Guest_User@lemmy.world
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      6•1 year ago

      Do let me know of the outcome!

      • @Deceptichum@sh.itjust.works
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        12•1 year ago

        I’ve found calling HTML a programming language helps.

      • 𞋴𝛂𝛋𝛆
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        4•1 year ago
        Spoiler

        “The hackers chainsaw” - Forth

        Old Reverse Polish Yoda can kill with one Word.

  • Rhynoplaz
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    31•1 year ago

    Man goes to memorial service and learns coworker’s shocking secret!

    • @hddsx@lemmy.ca
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      16•1 year ago

      Do tell

      • Rhynoplaz
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        1 year ago

        My stepmom’s mom died, I found out my coworker sings in her church’s choir.

        If you knew him, you’d be shocked too.

        • @SurfinBird@lemmy.ca
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          21•1 year ago

          This is just how the click baits turn out too

          • Rhynoplaz
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            13•1 year ago

            Hey shitty news sites! I’m accepting bids for part time click bait writing!

  • @lolola@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    25•1 year ago

    Fail compilation 2024 (watch till the end 😂👌)

  • @Got_Bent@lemmy.world
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    21•1 year ago

    Scientists discover THIS many shots of vodka will inebriate you

  • cobysev
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    17•1 year ago

    Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside… What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.

    • @prettybunnys@sh.itjust.works
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      11•1 year ago

      WHATS #7 damnit‽

  • Rimu
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    15•1 year ago

    Chaos Condo in Manila: Yowling cat, BDSM couple and Nose Job Woes Shake Up Quiet Night.

    I am not kidding. Life is strange sometimes.

    • Rimu
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      11•1 year ago

      Also across the hall there is a phone that rings for 10 full minutes, every day.

      And the aircon smells like mold.

      And the windows are stuck shut.

      And the bathroom smells a bit like sewer.

      Sorry, got on a roll there.

      • 🇰 🌀 🇱 🇦 🇳 🇦 🇰 ℹ️
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        4•1 year ago

        This reads like the lyrics to a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song. Like a more depressing Dead Flag Blues.

    • Dran
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      4•1 year ago

      Okay, I’m hooked, I have to know the non-clickbait story

  • @HipsterTenZero@dormi.zone
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    12•1 year ago

    Local fuckup reclaims a meager portion of his dignity using this one weird trick

  • @bionicjoey@lemmy.ca
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    12•1 year ago

    Man waits 3 months to see his girlfriend, you won’t believe what happens next!

    She was out of town for work for a couple of months, we saw each other one time since she got back. Then before we could see eachother again, she came down with COVID and I got fucking pneumonia. So we have to wait a bit before seeing each other until we’re both healthy.

  • Ð Greıt Þu̇mpkin
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    11•1 year ago

    Nurgle mistakenly identifies local sedentary fatass as living in tribute to him, rewards him with the blessing of now 4 weeks of continuous digestive plague.

  • dual_sport_dork 🐧🗡️
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    10•1 year ago

    You Won’t Believe This Guy’s Crazy Knife Collection!

  • spicy pancake
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    10•1 year ago

    How Is This Mentally Ill Single Millenial Holding Down Two Jobs and Crunching Through Debt Payments? The Answer Will Shock Most Americans!

    (the answer is I am a lucky bitch whose main employer fucks up just about everything except they provide premium health insurance I can afford to pay for and pay copays for, and this has been drastically improving my life)

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