How long can one person avoid yard work? The answer will shock you.
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“Clueless old man tries the cloud.”
He’s unemployed, autistic, spends his free time configuring Linux distros, doomscrolling and falling down Wikipedia rabbit holes. You won’t believe how he met his wife!
Wait, but how did you meet your wife though?
I too choose this guy’s wife.
I asked for her number in a night club, she was the bartender.
3 long lines of ‘headline’ won’t get you any clicks (and no wife)
101 mistakes to avoid if you wanna reach 30
me, reading: oh no… oh no!
“Which programming language will kill you the fastest? One man searches for the answer.”
Assembly.
Might I refer you to Brainfuck, or perhaps Whitespace?
Do let me know of the outcome!
I’ve found calling HTML a programming language helps.
Spoiler
“The hackers chainsaw” - Forth
Old Reverse Polish Yoda can kill with one Word.
Man goes to memorial service and learns coworker’s shocking secret!
Do tell
My stepmom’s mom died, I found out my coworker sings in her church’s choir.
If you knew him, you’d be shocked too.
This is just how the click baits turn out too
Hey shitty news sites! I’m accepting bids for part time click bait writing!
Fail compilation 2024 (watch till the end 😂👌)
Scientists discover THIS many shots of vodka will inebriate you
Retired at 38 and living childless with his wife in the countryside… What will he do with the rest of his life? #7 may surprise you.
WHATS #7 damnit‽
Chaos Condo in Manila: Yowling cat, BDSM couple and Nose Job Woes Shake Up Quiet Night.
I am not kidding. Life is strange sometimes.
Also across the hall there is a phone that rings for 10 full minutes, every day.
And the aircon smells like mold.
And the windows are stuck shut.
And the bathroom smells a bit like sewer.
Sorry, got on a roll there.
This reads like the lyrics to a Godspeed You! Black Emperor song. Like a more depressing Dead Flag Blues.
Okay, I’m hooked, I have to know the non-clickbait story
Local fuckup reclaims a meager portion of his dignity using this one weird trick
Man waits 3 months to see his girlfriend, you won’t believe what happens next!
She was out of town for work for a couple of months, we saw each other one time since she got back. Then before we could see eachother again, she came down with COVID and I got fucking pneumonia. So we have to wait a bit before seeing each other until we’re both healthy.
Nurgle mistakenly identifies local sedentary fatass as living in tribute to him, rewards him with the blessing of now 4 weeks of continuous digestive plague.
You Won’t Believe This Guy’s Crazy Knife Collection!
How Is This Mentally Ill Single Millenial Holding Down Two Jobs and Crunching Through Debt Payments? The Answer Will Shock Most Americans!
(the answer is I am a lucky bitch whose main employer fucks up just about everything except they provide premium health insurance I can afford to pay for and pay copays for, and this has been drastically improving my life)
