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@ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 1 year ago

First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk

www.theonion.com

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First Neuralink Implant Recipient Successfully Performs Depraved Sexual Acts On Elon Musk

www.theonion.com

@ZeroCool@slrpnk.net to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 1 year ago
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SAN FRANCISCO—In an astounding medical breakthrough for the brain microchip company, Neuralink researchers confirmed Wednesday that the first brain implant recipient had successfully performed depraved sexual acts on Elon Musk. “Although the patient is still recovering from the procedure, they are doing well and have…
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  • @synestia@lemmy.ml
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    85•1 year ago

    • @ZeroCool@slrpnk.netOP
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      32•1 year ago

      Okay tweets rarely make me actually laugh out loud but that was hilarious. Spot on.

    • @XTornado@lemmy.ml
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      7•1 year ago

      Bioshock wants a word.

  • @TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world
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    41•1 year ago

    Here:

    Use this if any one pushes back on making mock of this situation.

    I get it people, its a good thing that a disabled person can now use this and it further enables them to live a more complete life. Also, Elon Musk is an absolute weirdo, and I guarantee he’s trying to find a way to build micro transactions into this.

    • @activ8r@sh.itjust.works
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      23•1 year ago

      The recipient had better hope he can or they will be stuck with useless tech in their head when Musk gets bored and drops support.

      • Programmer Belch
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        4•1 year ago

        Open source firmware when?

        • jackeryjoo
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          2•1 year ago

          Much later, unfortunately.

    • @totallynotarobot@lemmy.world
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      3•1 year ago

      Tangent: “making mock” is an absolutely charming turn of phrase and is now my preferred way of saying this

    • bane_killgrind
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      2•1 year ago

      I wonder if some meme template site can fill out the issued by and date

  • @Reddfugee42@lemmy.world
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    28•1 year ago

    “…while crying and repeatedly begging to stop”

  • @restingboredface@sh.itjust.works
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    15•1 year ago

    Omg that picture really puts this article over the top.

  • @shalafi@lemmy.world
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    11•1 year ago

    Had an awful night last night, shit day followed. The headline alone got me laughing out loud.

  • @EvilLootbox@lemmy.world
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    3•
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    1 year ago

    Pretty much the Second Life subplot of Gamer with Gerard Butler lol

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