Much like a duck, the female cloaca has many false alleys and dead ends that are there to confuse and baffle the pennises of low-quality males whose semen is too weak to produce strong ducklings, but the duck can’t let the male know this because it will hurt his feelings, so the female directs the semen into one of those false dead end tubes instead and lets the male waddle away whistling and happy. Because of the waterpark slide of doom that is the female clunge, period blood can come from multiple sources, hence the Left and Right tampons, for cases where you need to use two at once. If you only use one when two are required, you will cause a pressure difference like when you press one nostril closed and blow out the other, which in the case of blood loss could prove fatal. Correct tamponning is no joke.