Found my next D&D character class. Anomancer.

With real testimonies and concrete examples, this book, exclusively dedicated to the art of anomancy, invites the reader to consider the anatomy of the anus as a reflection of the soul and a map of their life.

My soul has hemorrhoids? 😰

Salvador Dali was a practitioner:

“The most important thing in the world is the arsehole.” For Dali, the body no longer had any secrets. He had devised a special procedure to ensure that a woman on all fours would present her anus to greatest advantage: he would place a spirit level on her back, and when the air bubble was precisely in the middle, he claimed, her anus would flower in its full glory. On occasions, he would ask female visitors to sit on a bed of moist clay with their buttocks parted, in order to take an impression of their orifices. He would subsequently frame the impressions, adding the names of the ladies in question. Supposedly -and this again demonstrates Dali’s tirelessly investigative cast of mind - the anus has thirty-five or thirty-seven little creases which are as unique as fingerprints. He regretted that he could not account for the variation in number, but noted that it had nothing to do with social class, and that thirty-fives were as likely to be found among the aristocracy as among the working classes. Only the backsides of identical twins had exactly the same pattern and number of creases. He conducted experiments to substantiate his claim, and made the impressions of twins’ behinds into candelabra.

Step one: … is this human?

D U N E

Finally, an actual shitpost.

I have so many questions. Like first of all why

This makes a lot of the plot in Avowed take on a very different tone.

Ah yes, that one scene in Monsters Vs Aliens

I should call her…