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Track_Shovel to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish • 7 months ago

Soulmate rule

slrpnk.net

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Soulmate rule

slrpnk.net

Track_Shovel to 196@lemmy.blahaj.zoneEnglish • 7 months ago
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  • IndescribablySad@threads.net
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    120•7 months ago

    Girls don’t break wind, they shatter it, and that’s why they’re breathtaking. That’s what my grandfather always used to say, until my grandmother stabbed him to death during a mental episode. Would have been funny if she suffocated him, but she didn’t seem to consider my need for irony

    • @EddoWagt@feddit.nl
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      47•7 months ago

      This was not a comment I expected to read on this post

    • @ailourobor0s@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      24•7 months ago

    • @whaleross@lemmy.world
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      8•7 months ago

      Still a better love story than Twilight.

  • @latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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    33•7 months ago

    I hope it’s because she ate an onion-heavy dish🥰

    • @Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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      10•7 months ago

      Bro what

      • @latenightnoir@lemmy.world
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        10•7 months ago

        Onions are good AND good for you! Sure, they fuel a low-to-medium risk biological agent when digested in sufficient quantities, but it’s still better than eggy farts!:)))

  • Magnus the Punk Cat
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    27•7 months ago

    I wish she would come and fart in my bed instead

  • @Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    22•7 months ago

    I knew he was the one when we started laughing at eachother’s nighttime farts.

    • @SkyezOpen@lemmy.world
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      4•7 months ago

      My girlfriend said she knew when I opened the shower curtain and used my dick as a catapult to launch water at her.

      • @Kit@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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        1•7 months ago

        Relationship goals

  • @Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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    17•7 months ago

    Farting *then lifting the edge of the duvet for a quick huff

  • 🐝bownage [they/he]
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    17•7 months ago

    One time my wife farted herself awake, you can’t not laugh at that

  • @aeronmelon@lemmy.world
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    17•7 months ago

    Like hell I’m going to let the girl of my dreams outfart me. The bedroom is going to be a hazmat crisis before I relent!

  • qyron
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    16•7 months ago

    And that’s fine.

  • @proper@lemmy.world
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    12•7 months ago

    you’d be noseblind after a while so go for it

    • @toynbee@lemmy.world
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      8•7 months ago

      I have a deviated septum and therefore almost no effective sense of smell.

      I have it on good authority that those around me have taken advantage of this on many occasions.

  • @aeharding@vger.social
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    9•7 months ago

    The girl of my dreams doesn’t know how to remove oligosaccharides making food 🤔

  • socsa
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    English
    8•7 months ago

    I can fix her

  • Feydaikin
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    7•7 months ago

    I would be as well, but I have to settle for farting at work at this moment.

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