VA-11 Hall-A Bar
  • Communities
  • Create Post
  • Create Community
  • heart
    Support Lemmy
  • search
    Search
  • Login
  • Sign Up
seahorse [Ohio]M to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 9 months ago

‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

theonion.com

external-link
message-square
94
910
external-link

‘The Onion’ Officially Endorses Joe Biden For President

theonion.com

seahorse [Ohio]M to The Onion@midwest.socialEnglish • 9 months ago
message-square
94
Throughout its venerable 268-year reign, The Onion has always made it a top priority to endorse the correct presidential candidates. From George Washington to Richard Nixon to Donald Trump, this institution’s highly respected editorial board has had its finger on the pulse, and has accurately backed the winner of every single national election in this country’s long […]
alert-triangle
You must log in or register to comment.
  • JoYo
    link
    fedilink
    English
    235•9 months ago

    The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

  • Moops
    link
    fedilink
    186•9 months ago

    deleted by creator

    • @UFO64@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      72•9 months ago

      Suckers bet, I’m not taking it.

    • @Late2TheParty@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      19•9 months ago

      How will you be able to tell? His speeches are so incoherent! Hahqhahqha

      • @BigFatNips@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        20•9 months ago

        Hahq tuah

    • @m4xie@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      3•9 months ago

      I want people to send this to him now!

  • @lobut@lemmy.ca
    link
    fedilink
    English
    145•9 months ago

    But The Onion and its six-member editorial board do not listen to outsiders. Nor do we listen to data, facts, polls, the U.S. government, or the widely panned Geneva Conventions.

    I love it.

    • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
      link
      fedilink
      English
      50•9 months ago

      Finally someone said it. I’m tired of the country of Geneva enforcing its conventions on me and how I approach wars.

      • JackbyDev
        link
        fedilink
        English
        10•9 months ago

        Stop telling me what color shapes I can and cannot use, Geneva!

      • @DokPsy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        9•9 months ago

        Calm down Canada.

      • @CptEnder@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        8•9 months ago

        /c/NCD leaking

  • @TheImpressiveX@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    145•9 months ago

    Joe Biden may be young by Washington standards

    They really aren’t pulling their punches!

    • @elucubra@sopuli.xyz
      link
      fedilink
      English
      2•9 months ago

      The whole thing is brilliant. The Onion has been on fire lately.

      • @takeda@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        1•6 months ago

        The ownership changed in April this year and apparently staff was given more freedom what they can write.

  • hopesdead
    link
    fedilink
    English
    122•9 months ago

    I guess none of you noticed the editorial board has a signature from Ted Kaczynski, aka Unabomber.

    • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      89•9 months ago

      Its a reoccurring gag.

      • hopesdead
        link
        fedilink
        English
        27•9 months ago

        I have never actually read The Onion, I just like seeing their headlines.

        • WalrusDragonOnABike [they/them]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          33•9 months ago

          There’s some fun articles. Although I think they frequently drag on a little too long for a gag given my preference for not reading more than a few paragraphs at a time.

        • @Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world
          link
          fedilink
          English
          8•9 months ago

          I need to wake up. I went to sleep drunk, I woke up feeling still drunk.

          I read your username as “DopeSalad”

          Thats not even CLOSE!

          • hopesdead
            link
            fedilink
            English
            2•9 months ago

            Don’t worry. It’s nothing serious anyways. There is a band named Hopesfall. I thought it was dumb so I came up with that.

        • @ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net
          link
          fedilink
          English
          2•9 months ago

          They’re now in newspaper format again, if that helps!

        • @spauldo@lemmynsfw.com
          link
          fedilink
          English
          1•9 months ago

          Search for their article on “Habitrail for Humanity” - it’s my favorite.

      • @DragonTypeWyvern@midwest.social
        link
        fedilink
        English
        3•9 months ago

        Sure. Just a joke.

    • nohaybanda [he/him]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      29•9 months ago

      a-guy vote

      • @HappyTimeHarry@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        1•9 months ago

        ༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

    • @affiliate@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      12•9 months ago

      pretty incredible that they managed to get his signature even though he’s dead

      • @nexguy@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        11•9 months ago

        That’s only of you listen to data. Stop listening to data.

      • @takeda@lemm.ee
        link
        fedilink
        English
        1•6 months ago

        Well don’t underestimate the reach of Global Tetrahedron.

        Cover from January 2001: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Onion#/media/File:The_Onion,_January_18-24,_2001.jpg

  • @expatriado@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    71•9 months ago

    upset at myself for taking a whole 10 seconds to get the joke

    • @0ops@lemm.ee
      link
      fedilink
      English
      16•9 months ago

      It took me like 15 😭

  • @BigMacHole@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    67•9 months ago

    I’m a Republican who Does Her Own Research and I TOLD you Libtards that Biden was still in the Race! The whole Kamala thing was a SHAM! HOW can they Endorse Biden if he isn’t running STUPIDS!

  • Sasuke [comrade/them]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    59•9 months ago

    I’m glad Americans are finally waking up. Biden may not be perfect, but he is the only candidate who can beat Trump. I’ll be doing my part by voting for him as many times as possible this November!

  • @Wahots@pawb.social
    link
    fedilink
    English
    42•9 months ago

    Lest readers doubt the value of our endorsement, we ask them to remember 2016, when voter complacency almost put Hillary Clinton in the White House before The Onion stepped in.

    We really dodged a bullet on that one! (/j)

    • @frezik@midwest.social
      link
      fedilink
      English
      5•9 months ago

      The Onion wanted to play on hard mode. How do you write satire when that shit head was in the White House?

  • thelastaxolotl [he/him]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    36•9 months ago

    Im writting in Joe Biden this november biden-leftist

    • nohaybanda [he/him]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      27•9 months ago

      Did you forget to ask someone? hillary-assassin

      • BobDole [none/use name]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        8•9 months ago

    • Gosplan14_the_Third [none/use name]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      19•9 months ago

      Based, thank you for your vote

    • anarchoilluminati [comrade/them]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      18•9 months ago

      But a vote for Joe Biden is a vote for Trump!

  • Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    35•9 months ago

    I’m not even American but I’ve already voted for Joe Biden several times. Just wrote the name down on pieces of paper and mailed them off. Adressed them to Joe Biden too, so that shit counts double. Put some extra stamps on them, and that’s exponential growth in the number of times I voted for him. I’m practically a swing state of my own, the way I’m swinging my massive votes around.

    • sweatersocialist [comrade/them]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      10•9 months ago

      screenshotting this and sending it to fox news as an admission of guilt

    • @CosmicTurtle0@lemmy.dbzer0.com
      link
      fedilink
      English
      10•9 months ago

      I’m very afraid some maga is going to read this comment and take it seriously.

  • @tacosanonymous@lemm.ee
    link
    fedilink
    English
    23•9 months ago

    I think Internet Explorer is in for him too.

    • Utter_Karate [he/him, comrade/them]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      14•9 months ago

      I’m voting Netscape Navigator. Lesser evil.

      • Rhaedas
        link
        fedilink
        2•9 months ago

        Netscape was never lesser or evil.

    • @Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      4•9 months ago

      Naw, they’re rooting for Eisenhower.

    • @InverseParallax@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      1•9 months ago

      He’s all the buzz on AIM right now.

  • @Dadifer@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    17•9 months ago

    Ted Kazinski?

    • @InverseParallax@lemmy.world
      link
      fedilink
      English
      76•9 months ago

      You might know him for his academic papers.

      • atocci
        link
        fedilink
        English
        44•9 months ago

        Among other works

      • @motor_spirit@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        9•9 months ago

        you joke but this is how he’s brightly discussed in some circles lol I have seen some concerning publications that refer to him as uncle Ted and other light-hearted names in a similar context

        • @XeroxCool@lemmy.world
          cake
          link
          fedilink
          English
          5•9 months ago

          Seems like it’s up there with the killdozer Fandom. Casual terrorism… Or living the American dream?

          • desktop_user [they/them]
            link
            fedilink
            English
            0•9 months ago

            terrorism is the American dream, why else would we worship 9/11 and sadam husane?

      • @DamienGramatacus@lemmy.world
        link
        fedilink
        English
        7•9 months ago

        And his cake having tendancies

    • @kboy101222@sh.itjust.works
      link
      fedilink
      English
      7•9 months ago

      Yeah, the mathematician. What about him?

      !it’s a running gag for the onion!<

      • @brbposting@sh.itjust.works
        link
        fedilink
        English
        1•9 months ago
        Tap for spoiler

        Hmm

        I used:

        ::: spoiler Tap for spoiler
        hidden content
        :::
        
        • @kboy101222@sh.itjust.works
          link
          fedilink
          English
          1•
          edit-2
          9 months ago

          That’s what I used and it works on my app

          Whatever you’re using seems to take the > as a comment immediately

          • @brbposting@sh.itjust.works
            link
            fedilink
            English
            2•9 months ago

            I’m using Voyager iOS, but checked this out from a browser.

            Looks like this method:

            >! spoiler !<
            

            doesn’t work on our (yours & my) instance, nor Midwest Social:

            Interesting that Join-Lemmy.org advocates for the format I previously showed in a code block:

            yet your client supports the “greater than exclamation point” method. It makes me wonder whether your client should support it.

            (Lots of folks like that method though per Lemmy GitHub!)

            Which client you using? I’ll share this comment with them.

            • @GreenAppleTree@lemmy.world
              link
              fedilink
              English
              2•9 months ago

              That was the Reddit spoiler tag, so I’m guessing they’re using one of the ex-reddit clients that pivoted to Lemmy during the great migration.

              Either Sync, Boost, Eternity, or… the other one I couldn’t remember the name of.

    • sunzu2
      link
      fedilink
      3•9 months ago

      Removed by mod

  • @Alsephina@lemmy.ml
    link
    fedilink
    English
    16•9 months ago

    Hell yeah I’m writing him in

  • @WrenFeather@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    English
    12•9 months ago

    This is a great joke! It took me a second even after I saw the source. Well done!

The Onion@midwest.social

!theonion@midwest.social

Subscribe from Remote Instance

Create a post
You are not logged in. However you can subscribe from another Fediverse account, for example Lemmy or Mastodon. To do this, paste the following into the search field of your instance: !theonion@midwest.social

The Onion

A place to share and discuss stories from The Onion, Clickhole, and other satire.

Great Satire Writing:

  • The Onion
  • Clickhole
  • McSweeney’s
  • Reductress
  • The Chaser
  • The Hard Times
    • The Hard Drive
  • The Needling
  • Tattletale Times
  • The Beaverton
  • 320 users / day
  • 2.24K users / week
  • 4.61K users / month
  • 11.1K users / 6 months
  • 6.28K subscribers
  • 1.48K Posts
  • 18K Comments
  • Modlog
  • mods:
  • seahorse [Ohio]
  • pbrisgreat
  • BE: 0.19.1
  • Modlog
  • Instances
  • Docs
  • Code
  • join-lemmy.org